these days

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I wish there were more things
That could spark hope
You know it's a bit odd
 & a lot shabby,
I know it's not poetic 
But let's go to the point 
Being alone sucks 
Scrolling feeds, 100's of messages on social media 
& then avoiding everyone sucks too.
Seeing all those close people, your BFF
Posting shit sending streak
Feels like why I'm here, why not there,
It tears me apart
Because 
I don't know what I'm doing 
Even sometimes it feels like I knew it
But then I get a sudden feeling like "is it worthy enough".
But yeah I know this season 
I'm being selfish 
Thinking about me & my career
But why not?
Why should I feel guilty 
Choosing my career first as a priority,
It's not that poetic, right?
Yeah, it's a reality.
Everyday living the same life
Entangled with same work
Seeing other stories feeling jealous,
It's like trapped  in the same cage
Well let's say reality always suck
Now let make this poetic ,
The clouds keep me company, 
Twinkling stars give me a ray of hope,
I keep waiting for good days,
Ignoring the truth,
Hope is hiding in plain sight,
If only I dare to look deep enough.


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